hippiechrissey
sabinat
weaverwriteMost days I’m kind of on the fence about being single. There are things I miss about having a partner, but there are also things I’m glad to not have to deal with. Recent situations have made me realize that relationships are sooooo not all they’re cracked up to be.
Let’s see, there’s the gal who doesn’t make plans of her own because she’s hoping that her guy will ask her to do something with him. There’s the girl who puts up with a drunken boyfriend and does his bidding, fully knowing that he’s not the guy she wants to marry. Then there’s the girl who gets beat on by her boyfriend but thinks that the good outweighs the bad.
Seriously ladies?! I mean I know the pickins are slim, but isn’t it better to be single than to entirely forego a social life? Isn’t it better to do your own thing that put up with an asshole for a boyfriend? Isn’t it far far better to be alone than to be beat?!
I just don’t understand it. When I am in a relationship, it has to be a shared interest. We have to have out separate social lives, and there will definitely be clear boundaries. For example, I sure as hell am not going to let a drunk partner paw me until he pukes and passes out while I miss hanging out with my friends. And the person who lays a hand on me better have health insurance for when I break their hand.
Am I wrong here? Does a relationship really require so much compromise as to suck away pieces of one’s identity? I don’t want a relationship that makes me put my own life on hold. I don’t know where I’ll be five years from now, but I sure as hell don’t want to be regretting the things I didn’t do because a partner was demanding of me!
Filed under: The Bad | Tagged: bad relationships, compromise, girl, good, relationship, single, the one |
Serially Single 
So true Chrissey! Seeing friends in those situations sure makes me glad I’m single, and I definitely want a relationship of two separate, equal individuals.
Somehow, though I also wonder whether that was what my friends thought when I was caught up in those situations (actually, “what were you thinking” was pretty common after each breakup). The truth is, I don’t know, to this day, how that happened, how I lost my individual self and put up with abuse. I didn’t plan it (I always figured I’d hit back, too), and when I was in that relationship, I didn’t even see it that way.
“Love makes you stupid and blind,” a friend insists. I don’t agree, I don’t think there can be love in an unequal power-domination game like that.
As for me, I still insist that I won’t tolerate a relationship like that anymore. Ever. I’m also wary, because I’ve said it before and been wrong.