The Choice — A Half-Assed Response

Hi! I’m Lefty, Scott’s left butt cheek, and it has always been my choice to live a life of freedom. But as I grow older I have come to the realization that I’m missing out on a lot of things that life has to offer.

Now, I’m not saying that the life I live today is not a good one. Quite the contrary, I thoroughly enjoy my life. I can bare all when I feel like it, and don’t have to ask permission. When I’m feeling sensitive I can wrap myself in a nice pair of jeans! And I’ve got my best friend Righty with my all the time! It’s just that a best friend is only a best friend. Sure, Righty and I just blow with the wind whenever we feel a breeze and have really grown attached to each other over the years, but it would be nice to cuddle cheek-to-cheek with someone else, you know? To leave an imprint on the world with someone new. And, hey, a guy needs a little slap and tickle now and then to really feel alive! Righty just can’t provide that! Even something as simple as a warm palm in my pocket as we walk the boardwalk would be nice. I want the simple things in life. To be fondled while shaking it on the dance floor. The amorous pinch that makes me tingle with excitement. Maybe even the feeling of little hands hanging from my pocket! I just need something new. I need something fresh!

So, maybe freedom has been my choice up until now, but I think that’s changed. I still need a buddy! That goes without saying. Righty and I will always be close, but, in the end, I think I need more. I need more then just someone to bum around with. I need someone that is sweet, yet firm. Someone that can help carry the load and yet soft enough to cushion the blows when we get knocked down. Someone that I can just shoot the shit with and that won’t get all uptight when I’m a little cheeky!

I guess I’m just looking love.

Is that too much to ask? Or am I just making an ass of myself?

Still single,

Lefty

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One Response

  1. Haha! Cute. So you’ve changed your mind about being a bachelor. I think that’s okay. I think it’s okay that we’re growing older and more mature and want something a little more secure and stable than just the cats on a Friday night.

    I wish us both luck, my friend!

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