Lesbians Are Complicated

If I had a dime for every time I’ve heard a woman tell me “Men are assholes, I should just become a lesbian” I’d have…well, realistically I’d only have about a buck. But my response will always be the same–“Lesbian relationships are just as, if not more complicated!”

You want an example? Say you’re friends with someone. Say you and someone are staying overnight in a crowded house and you and that same someone share a bed. Voluntarily, mind you! Say that you and that someone spend some time laying in bed, cuddling up, and whispering secrets and talking about hopes for the future. Say you and that someone have a nice, comfortable evening together and all is dandy. What does it mean to you?

Chances are, if you’re two heteros of opposite sex, it means that you’re having some kind of connection and that you’re probably both thinking about getting it on. But if you’re gay? Well, then things are a bit more complicated, aren’t they? Because girls have a special role for each other, and that includes cuddling–even in the straightest of hetero friendships. Girls like to cuddle. Girls like to share secrets. Girls like to be close. So then how the hell does a lesbian know if she’s a friend of a girlfriend?!

Well there’s one easy way to tell–just wait until the next morning! Because a night of shared cuddling between two lesbians will ultimately result in someone needing to discuss what went on. And there will have to be a conversation about what it all means. And someone will have to say “we’re just friends, right?” and someone else will have to say “of course we’re just friends. I love you.” It can get very complicated for lesbians to be friends!

So, dear readers, let me make a blanket statement just to clear the air. I am not interested in bedding you. Even if I kiss you or make out with you for an hour, I’m not interested in having sex with you. If I want to screw you, you will know because I will tell you. Are we all clear on that now?

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One Response

  1. It is interesting to consider female intimacy of both the romantic and platonic kind historically. For example, in the early part of the 20th century there was the living arrangement known as the Boston marriage, wherein two female friends would cohabitate but not have sex.
    And where do friends with benefits (or detriments :P) fit into this?

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