The Little Round Frog

This has nothing to do with dating or being single. It’s just a children’s poem that I wrote that I rather like! ~Scott

The Little Round Frog

The Little Round Frog

by Scott Weaver

Born in the mud,

From under a log,

On a backwater creek,

Come a funny little frog.

Now most frogs come out,

Two eyes and a tail,

With no arms or legs,

They look like a snail.

This frog, though,

Was just a squishy little ball,

With two eyes in the middle,

And no tail at all.

Now most frogs, they swim,

‘Til that tail falls off,

To reveal two little legs,

All ready to hop.

But our little frog,

Not able to swim,

Quickly lost sight of that log,

As the waves carried him.

Away and away,

Our little frog went,

Down that backwater creek,

Only going where it sent.

Until finally one day,

With a resounding “ker-plop”,

He was tossed on a rock

Where he came to a stop.

Now he might have died right there,

On top of that rock,

If Bob, the white dog,

Hadn’t seen that green spot.

Now, Bob, being curious,

As dogs tend to be,

Crept up to the rock,

To have a look-see.

What he saw was a spot,

With two little eyes,

Looking up at him,

With fear and surprise.

“What are you?”

Bob asked the little green spot,

“I think I’m a frog,

Stuck on a rock”.

“Well, hello little frog,

Stuck on a rock!

I’m Bob the white dog!”

He said to the spot.

“Where are your legs?

That let you hop, hop, hop, hop?”

“I haven’t got any legs.

I just roll and ker-plop!”

“Oh!” said Bob,

“Would you like me to help?

I love helping things!”

He said with a yelp.

And he pushed his black nose,

Down onto the spot,

‘Til it was stuck on the tip,

Like an old piece of snot.

And he raced off to home,

To the pond in the back,

And set the frog down,

On the edge of the grass.

“Thank you!” said the frog,

“I owe you a lot!

If not for you,

I would have died on that rock!”

“Aw, twas nothin’!

Just usin’ my nose!

It’s what friends do for friends,

And we’re friends, don’t you know!”

And that’s how he became,

Did Bob the white dog,

The bestest of friends,

With a little round frog.

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Craigslist… You Haunt Me

Seriously, why do you exist, Craigslist?

Why do you taunt me with meaningless sex when you know it’s not what I really want?

Why do I continue to believe that maybe, just maybe, there’s a girl out there looking for love in the casual encounters section?

Why?

Damn you Craigslist!

Damn you to hell!

Still single, bored, and lonely,

Scott

2010 WNBR Portland Photos — Warning! SINSFTS (Some Images Not Safe For The Sighted)

OK, so I said I would post photos…

I may regret this…

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

Of course, you might regret that too…

Still single and completely laying the blame on the damn sun and Burger King!

Scott

WNBR Portland, Oregon 2010

I rode through the streets of Portland last night, wearing nothing but a pair of “modified” tighty-whities, with an estimated 13,000 of my closest, naked, friends!

(Yes, these are photos of my outfit after I wore it!)

Tighty-Whities (HI)

Modified Tighty-Whities (Front)

Tighty-Whities (BYE)

Modified Tighty-Whities (Back)

And it was AWESOME!

If you ever have the chance to participate in the World Naked Bike Ride (WNBR), do it! There’s nothing quite like riding a bike with a bunch of happy naked people while being cheered by crowds of onlookers lining the streets!

I’ll definitely be back next year!!!

So, photos…

No, I didn’t take my camera, as I knew I wouldn’t have the time to get the shots I wanted. One of my friends did though, and I’ll post some of those as soon as I get copies.

Until then, here are a few photos and a video from others that I found online.

http://jaredsouney.posterous.com/thousands-of-naked-cyclists-in-portland-pdx
http://brookegeery.com/?p=1153
http://www.flickr.com/photos/51220940@N03/sets/72157624190513447/show/

World Naked Bike Ride – Portland, OR from Cooper Richardson on Vimeo.

Still single, just with clothes on and not riding a bike,

Scott

Sunny-Side Up

As I posted earlier, I’m planning on doing this World Naked Bike Ride. Well, it dawned on me yesterday (while at the bar preaching on the virtues of riding a bicycle naked) that I was lacking color on much of that that would be on display during the ride. In other words, the only thing distinguishing my torso from a snow field was chest hair!

Well, me being the brilliant man that I am, I thought I would take advantage of the 85 degree weather to get some color! Good idea, right? Yeah, I thought so to!

So, I lathered on the sunscreen, grabbed my kindle, and headed to the pool! It was glorious! Sunny with a cool breeze and a great book (Lamb, the Gospel of Biff, by Christiphor Moore)! I was gonna read, get some sun, expand my sexual appeal, and relax!

And I did! In fact, the book was soooo good I just kept reading… for two hours… until I had finished!

Girls like pink, right?

The Sunburn

This is what HOT looks like!

Still single… pink for sure… but still single!

Scott

P.S. Did you know that sunscreen has an expiration date? Yeah, me either!

Secret Crush

Secret Crush
written and read by Scott Weaver

She’s tall, around 5′ 11′, maybe even 6 foot.
She has raven-black hair that runs straight, all the way down past her shoulder blades.
She’s pale like a winter moon.
She’s beautiful.

She’s not fat, but not skinny.
She has a soft round face with deep-set eyes.
She looks naive, and shy, and wholesome.
She’s quiet.

I see her punching timestamps on receipts a couple of times a week.
Sometimes she goes to lunch with a short, fat, funny-haired old guy from the office.
She wears dark floral skirts that cover her knees and simple flats on her feet.
When she’s cold, she wears a shiny black-suede jacket, tied in the front.
I don’t think she’s noticed, that I’ve noticed, that she’s beautiful.

She’s my secret crush.

I Love Myself

I Love Myself
written and read by Scott Weaver

Oh, I love, I love, I love myself!
Yes, indeed, I do!
I love, I love, I love myself!
And I think that you should to!

Now don’t be coy and subtle with me,
If you think I’m a handsome dude!
Just walk right up and tell me so,
And I’ll say, “How do you do!”

Oh, I love, I love, I love myself!
Yes, indeed, I do!
I love, I love, I love myself!
And I think you’re starting to, to!

Now don’t be all shy and ladylike,
Cause I can’t read that crap either!
If you want my love, you’ll have to prove
That you’re an eager beaver!

Oh, I love, I love, I love myself!
Yes, indeed, I do!
I love, I love, I love myself!
Don’t you love me to?

Now if you really want to be with me,
All you have to do is say, “Hi!
You’re really, really hot and sexy,
And I want you to be my guy!”

Oh, I love, I love, I love myself!
I really, really, do!
But I’m kind of tired of myself,
And I’d like to try-on you!

Now if we meet, and do hook up,
Don’t wait for me to make the move,
Because you see, I’m shy as can be,
And you’ll have to do that to!

Well, I love, I love, I love myself!
You know this to be true!
But for as much as I love myself,
I could really use a screw!