The Little Round Frog

This has nothing to do with dating or being single. It’s just a children’s poem that I wrote that I rather like! ~Scott

The Little Round Frog

The Little Round Frog

by Scott Weaver

Born in the mud,

From under a log,

On a backwater creek,

Come a funny little frog.

Now most frogs come out,

Two eyes and a tail,

With no arms or legs,

They look like a snail.

This frog, though,

Was just a squishy little ball,

With two eyes in the middle,

And no tail at all.

Now most frogs, they swim,

‘Til that tail falls off,

To reveal two little legs,

All ready to hop.

But our little frog,

Not able to swim,

Quickly lost sight of that log,

As the waves carried him.

Away and away,

Our little frog went,

Down that backwater creek,

Only going where it sent.

Until finally one day,

With a resounding “ker-plop”,

He was tossed on a rock

Where he came to a stop.

Now he might have died right there,

On top of that rock,

If Bob, the white dog,

Hadn’t seen that green spot.

Now, Bob, being curious,

As dogs tend to be,

Crept up to the rock,

To have a look-see.

What he saw was a spot,

With two little eyes,

Looking up at him,

With fear and surprise.

“What are you?”

Bob asked the little green spot,

“I think I’m a frog,

Stuck on a rock”.

“Well, hello little frog,

Stuck on a rock!

I’m Bob the white dog!”

He said to the spot.

“Where are your legs?

That let you hop, hop, hop, hop?”

“I haven’t got any legs.

I just roll and ker-plop!”

“Oh!” said Bob,

“Would you like me to help?

I love helping things!”

He said with a yelp.

And he pushed his black nose,

Down onto the spot,

‘Til it was stuck on the tip,

Like an old piece of snot.

And he raced off to home,

To the pond in the back,

And set the frog down,

On the edge of the grass.

“Thank you!” said the frog,

“I owe you a lot!

If not for you,

I would have died on that rock!”

“Aw, twas nothin’!

Just usin’ my nose!

It’s what friends do for friends,

And we’re friends, don’t you know!”

And that’s how he became,

Did Bob the white dog,

The bestest of friends,

With a little round frog.

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2010 WNBR Portland Photos — Warning! SINSFTS (Some Images Not Safe For The Sighted)

OK, so I said I would post photos…

I may regret this…

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

Of course, you might regret that too…

Still single and completely laying the blame on the damn sun and Burger King!

Scott

WNBR Portland, Oregon 2010

I rode through the streets of Portland last night, wearing nothing but a pair of “modified” tighty-whities, with an estimated 13,000 of my closest, naked, friends!

(Yes, these are photos of my outfit after I wore it!)

Tighty-Whities (HI)

Modified Tighty-Whities (Front)

Tighty-Whities (BYE)

Modified Tighty-Whities (Back)

And it was AWESOME!

If you ever have the chance to participate in the World Naked Bike Ride (WNBR), do it! There’s nothing quite like riding a bike with a bunch of happy naked people while being cheered by crowds of onlookers lining the streets!

I’ll definitely be back next year!!!

So, photos…

No, I didn’t take my camera, as I knew I wouldn’t have the time to get the shots I wanted. One of my friends did though, and I’ll post some of those as soon as I get copies.

Until then, here are a few photos and a video from others that I found online.

http://jaredsouney.posterous.com/thousands-of-naked-cyclists-in-portland-pdx
http://brookegeery.com/?p=1153
http://www.flickr.com/photos/51220940@N03/sets/72157624190513447/show/

World Naked Bike Ride – Portland, OR from Cooper Richardson on Vimeo.

Still single, just with clothes on and not riding a bike,

Scott

Secret Crush

Secret Crush
written and read by Scott Weaver

She’s tall, around 5′ 11′, maybe even 6 foot.
She has raven-black hair that runs straight, all the way down past her shoulder blades.
She’s pale like a winter moon.
She’s beautiful.

She’s not fat, but not skinny.
She has a soft round face with deep-set eyes.
She looks naive, and shy, and wholesome.
She’s quiet.

I see her punching timestamps on receipts a couple of times a week.
Sometimes she goes to lunch with a short, fat, funny-haired old guy from the office.
She wears dark floral skirts that cover her knees and simple flats on her feet.
When she’s cold, she wears a shiny black-suede jacket, tied in the front.
I don’t think she’s noticed, that I’ve noticed, that she’s beautiful.

She’s my secret crush.

I Love Myself

I Love Myself
written and read by Scott Weaver

Oh, I love, I love, I love myself!
Yes, indeed, I do!
I love, I love, I love myself!
And I think that you should to!

Now don’t be coy and subtle with me,
If you think I’m a handsome dude!
Just walk right up and tell me so,
And I’ll say, “How do you do!”

Oh, I love, I love, I love myself!
Yes, indeed, I do!
I love, I love, I love myself!
And I think you’re starting to, to!

Now don’t be all shy and ladylike,
Cause I can’t read that crap either!
If you want my love, you’ll have to prove
That you’re an eager beaver!

Oh, I love, I love, I love myself!
Yes, indeed, I do!
I love, I love, I love myself!
Don’t you love me to?

Now if you really want to be with me,
All you have to do is say, “Hi!
You’re really, really hot and sexy,
And I want you to be my guy!”

Oh, I love, I love, I love myself!
I really, really, do!
But I’m kind of tired of myself,
And I’d like to try-on you!

Now if we meet, and do hook up,
Don’t wait for me to make the move,
Because you see, I’m shy as can be,
And you’ll have to do that to!

Well, I love, I love, I love myself!
You know this to be true!
But for as much as I love myself,
I could really use a screw!

Balls On A Bicycle Seat

This is not just a horrible mental image, it’s also my future… well, sort of.

You see, we here in the Northwest (Portland & Seattle specifically) have joined in the wild and crazy event called the World Naked Bike Ride! And, yes, it’s exactly as it sounds; naked (or near-naked, the official motto is “As bare as you dare”) people riding bicycles! It’s all to promote riding bikes, reducing pollution, and having fun! And it really is an amazing thing to see. This year it’s taking place on June 19th!!!

In Portland, the first official ride was 2004 with just a handful of people, but it’s grown every year. In 2007 there were 800 riders, 2008 saw 2000, and last year we had 5000 riders! This year the expectation is near 10,000!!! That’s a lot of skin, let me tell you! It’s an amazing thing to watch thousands of nearly naked people riding through the streets of downtown Portland, stopping traffic, with hundreds of spectators lining the route!

Last year I just watched and took pictures, but this year I’m taking part! (Thanks for the bike, Dad!)

That’s right, I’m going to be riding, nearly-naked (I fear chaffing and pinching, not showing the goods), with thousands of other like-minded (and less dressed) people!

What am I wearing? Well, I haven’t bought it yet, but…

Shoes
Socks
Helmet
Neon-Pink Thong
Pink Tutu
Pink Fairy Wings
and a Wand (No, not like that! A real fake-wand, that I will carry in my hand!)

What’s the theme?

I’m going to be a “Hairy” Godmother!

My real concern is, do you think the chicks will dig it?

Would you talk to a “Hairy” Godmother?

Why do I feel like I’m going to attract suitors, not senoritas?

Maybe I should re-think the outfit…

Still single, and worried I may be attracting the wrong crowd,

Scott

P.S. if you want to join in, here’s a couple links to find out more!

http://www.worldnakedbikeride.org/
http://www.shift2bikes.org/wnbr/min.php
http://wiki.worldnakedbikeride.org/index.php?title=Portland

The Resurrection Of Home

Well, dear readers, I’m finally home! Yes, it’s all put back together! The paintings are hung, the cats are home, and I can nap on my very own couches!!!

I promised pictures, so…

Living Room

Living Room

Living Room

Living Room

Living Room

Entertainment

Dining Room

Kitchen

Kitchen

View From Kitchen

Main Bathroom

Office

Office

Master Bedroom

Master Bedroom

Master Washroom

Maser Washroom

Master Bath

Walk-in Closet

Still single, but at least I’m home!

Scott