WNBR Portland, Oregon 2010

I rode through the streets of Portland last night, wearing nothing but a pair of “modified” tighty-whities, with an estimated 13,000 of my closest, naked, friends!

(Yes, these are photos of my outfit after I wore it!)

Tighty-Whities (HI)

Modified Tighty-Whities (Front)

Tighty-Whities (BYE)

Modified Tighty-Whities (Back)

And it was AWESOME!

If you ever have the chance to participate in the World Naked Bike Ride (WNBR), do it! There’s nothing quite like riding a bike with a bunch of happy naked people while being cheered by crowds of onlookers lining the streets!

I’ll definitely be back next year!!!

So, photos…

No, I didn’t take my camera, as I knew I wouldn’t have the time to get the shots I wanted. One of my friends did though, and I’ll post some of those as soon as I get copies.

Until then, here are a few photos and a video from others that I found online.

http://jaredsouney.posterous.com/thousands-of-naked-cyclists-in-portland-pdx
http://brookegeery.com/?p=1153
http://www.flickr.com/photos/51220940@N03/sets/72157624190513447/show/

World Naked Bike Ride – Portland, OR from Cooper Richardson on Vimeo.

Still single, just with clothes on and not riding a bike,

Scott

The Poop Schedule — A Question

Okay, this may seem a little weird, but I’ve been noticing a trend at work lately. It seems to me that most of the men at my work take craps there!

Why? Who wants to crap on a toilet that’s not theirs? Who wants to sit in a cold stall, possibly surrounded by other people, and do their business? Not me! I schedule my visits!

And then it hit me, I bet they’re crapping at work so they don’t have to crap at home. Is this because they’ve been asked to do it elsewhere by their loved ones? Or are they doing it because they’re nice guys that don’t want to stink it up?

What do you think?

Ladies? Are these guys doing their business at work because of their wives and girlfriends? Have you ever asked a boyfriend or husband to do this? Would you?

Guys, have you ever been asked to do this? Do you do this? Why?

Still single, especially when nature calls,

Scott

Huntin’ Cougar: Part 1

A huntin’ we will go! A huntin’ we will go! Heigh ho, the dairy-o, a huntin’ we will go!

That’s right, kiddies! It’s time to go cougar hunting! Now for today’s adventure, you will need to put a few extra-special items in your backpack other then your standard, fully-loaded, gun. Them cougars can be mighty wily prey!

First off, you’re going to need some new clothes! Now, nothin’ too flashy! We don’t want to scare them off, but we will need to blend in to their natural habitat. So I recommend a nice pair of trousers and a button-down shirt with the sleeves rolled up. Respectful but casual, that’s the name of the game. And you can leave those silly rubbers at home! We’re not fishin’! We’re huntin’! And cougars tend to be dry.

Next you’re gonna need what I like to call the “Cougar Huntin’ Bible”. Don’t worry, it sounds fancy, but it can be picked up in most book stores. Just ask the clerk for a “Bartender’s Bible”. –If they’re young, and don’t know what that is, just have them look up the word of the day, “Mixologist”! You’re sure to get what you need that way!– This book will give you all the tips and tricks you need to capture yourself a cougar. Trust me, it’s served me well over the years! Just remember to practice the lessons in the book first. Cougars will make a damn fool of ya if ya don’t know what you’re doin’!

And last, but most important, you’re gonna need a ring. Somethin’ simple, like a plain band, will do. It signals to the cougar that your safe and they can let their guard down. Now, don’t go gettin’ anything real fancy or nothin’. There’s no point in that. You’d just be wastin’ your money, cause you’re not gonna need it too long. Just long enough to get within’ striking distance, is all ya need it for.

Okay! Got all your supplies? Good!

First, you have to know where to look. I find that the best place to hunt cougar is in the hills. My favorite huntin’ hills are Beverly, but if you’re not in that neck of the woods, any hills in and around a fairly large city will do. The kind of cougars we’ll be huntin’ for like to be above everyone else. Up in the good neighborhoods where there’s plenty of good stuff to eat and it’s easy to hide.

Now, you might be surprised at how many cougars you’ll find out there. But don’t go out and just start trackin’ any ol’ cougar! If you’re not careful, you might find yourself stuck with a broken-down ol’ thing with bad breath and no life in ‘er! That’s not what we’re after. We’re after a very special type of cougar. We’re after the “Golden Cougar”.

How will you know when you’ve found a golden cougar? Simple! She’ll have a good coat, nice nails, pearly-white teeth, and mischief in her eyes! At first, it may take a while to spot one. They’re pretty elusive creatures and they’re real good at hiding in plain sight thanks to their years of experience. You just have to be vigilant and keep a watchful eye.

Oh, would ya look at that! We’re out of time! But don’t worry! On our next episode, the huntin’ begins!!!

Till next time, keep reading those bibles!

Still single, and always packing a fully-loaded gun,

Scott

A Good Date

What makes a good date? I think the obvious component of chemistry is necessary, but then what? If you have fantastic chemistry with someone, is it enough to sit on a park bench and mumble obscenities about the joggers running by in tiny shorts? I’m talking about a first date here. I could easily sit with a good friend and mumble obscenities for hours on end! But if we’re talking about that all-important first date, what is required?

Interaction, of course. I mean, that other person ought to show some interest in my life. They don’t have to memorize the details of my family tree, but I’d like them to have some idea of what I do for a living by the end of the night. Does there have to be some physical contact? And how much? I mean, I enjoy someone who is willing to be near me, but sometimes a kiss seems forced if it isn’t natural. And sometimes I’m ready to hop into bed after a two hour date, but sometimes it’s totally inappropriate. Do you have to had the late night conversation that lasts until dawn?

What makes a really great first date?

Benefits update

I’ve spent the past four days in airports, airplanes, and board-room meetings, with short “rest” periods during which I was led on endless tours of galleries, theaters, art schools, and offices. Not that it’s not fun, but all the sitting and waiting one does at airports gives you time to think. 

Now, the trips, with all the exhaustion that goes with them, do have an upside: S is back in town, and calling (and texting) relentlessly. lets forget about the title, and just say it’s a relationship, of sorts. Something I’m not in for the long run; something I though he wasn’t in for the long run either. That’s clearly changed, but I’m still not looking for something permanent, at least for the moment, and not with him. I’m back in town, so I’ll have to stop avoiding him (although there’s another trip on Wednesday, and another on Saturday). I have a nagging feeling that this will mean an end to the friendship, or at the very best a long pause before we can build some trust again. Can it be avoided? Probably not. I think he’ll understand, but even so, it will be awkward. So that’s the end of S… Or it will be as soon as I see him and end it. 

But the refection goes deeper than that. What is it I like about this “friends with benefits” scheme? I land there over and over again. It’s not about the booty calls, and not even all about the sex. If it was only that, one-night stands would suffice, but that’s not really my thing. So there’s more to these relationships, that seems certain. One easy answer is that I’m afraid of commitment… I am, that’s no secret. There’s something incredibly attractive to me about a relationship in which there are no expectations, no plans for the future. And even more than commitment, plans are what send me running. I don’t know where I’m going to be in a year, what I’m going to be doing, so how can I possibly make plans with someone else. I like the fact that my life is free, that I can do 180’s whenever I feel like it, pick up and move to another country, change careers, change my life. lately, that’s been even more important, since I’m probably moving to another continent (again). If you feel guilty about a guy making plans with you or about you when you really don’t know how long it will be before you feel the next urge to drop everything and jump off a cliff into a new life, how can you allow someone to make plans when you pretty much have a date for the next jump?

Now the commitment-future plans thing, that I already knew. But there’s something else. I’m also unpredictable on the day-to-day. I don’t know if I’ll be out of the office at 7, which is the norm at my office, or if my boss will come in at quarter-to and ask me to stay and write an urgent speech for his 9 am presentation in another city, so forget planning dinner and a movie, I’d rather wing it if I do get out of the office early. If not, hey, are you available for a late supper? And it’s not about the job, really, it’s just me (it’s why they gave me the job). Friends call for an impromptu bash at 11 pm on weekdays, I always say yes. A Greenaway marathon after work tonight at G’s house? Sure, I’ll bring the wine (and cancel whatever other pans I had). I don’t like having to let someone know where I’m going every night, or getting mad about cancelled plans, friends showing up unannounced, calls at all hours of the night.

So the friends with benefits thing? It’s a relationship, of sorts, sure… Without plans, without expectations, without obligations… Until it stops working. And with S, it has stopped working. There are expectations now, probably plans too. And if I continue to play hide-and seek, there will be hurt feelings and anger… 

Today, I’ve also been thinking about Scott’s question. Did we really stay friends during the whole thing? Hard to say, really. I can honestly say that in other cases, we have, as long as sex has been a casual, once in a while part of the equation, and not the reason we usually see each other. With S., I think we didn’t. Not really. We never went out for coffee, or just to talk anymore. We always met at my place, late at night, with a bottle of wine, talked for a while, and ended it in bed. So no, it was just a relationship with the illusion of no strings, until reality showed me the strings. 

Once upon a time, when I was younger and less guarded, I believed that a lasting relationship could be built as long as there was friendship and sex. When did that change? When did I stop believing in relationships, in the future?

My therapist is going to put her kids through college with me!

S.