The Waiting

Main Entry: ten·ta·tive
Pronunciation: \ˈten-tə-tiv\
Function: adjective
Etymology: Medieval Latin tentativus, from Latin tentatus, past participle of tentare, temptare to feel, try
Date: 1626
1 : not fully worked out or developed
2 : hesitant, uncertain
— tentative noun
— ten·ta·tive·ly adverb
— ten·ta·tive·ness noun
(from www.merriam-webster.com)

My apartment flooded on December 12, 2009.
At first, a “possible” move-back date, March 19, 2010.
Then came the “shooting-for” date of March 31, 2010.
It is now April 2, 2010, the first “tentative” move-back date. The wind is blowing, the rain is sheeting, and I am writing from… my hotel room.

The girls at the front desk laugh every time I hand them my card key to have it updated to the new check-out date. “You’re never leaving!” they like to tease. It’s become routine. The cute little 19 year-old Abby doesn’t even bat an eye when I walk up, card already extended, and exclaim “Flash me!” They know me.

Don’t get me wrong, I highly recommend the Hilton Homewood Suites in Vancouver, WA. It’s a nice place, with lovely, friendly, and often funny, service. They offer hot breakfast every morning and a hot dinner, with free beer and wine, four nights a week. I have a kitchenette, a sitting room, two flatscreen TVs, and a king-sized bed. It’s a great place and I’ve made some new friends.

But it’s not home.

I know I haven’t posted much since the flood, and what I have posted has been, well, let’s just say less then productive. I apologize. There’s just something sleazy about asking a girl back to your hotel room! And it certainly doesn’t imply a desire for anything long-term.

But all of that’s about to change! From the looks of things, I should be able to move in either tomorrow or Monday! I will have a brand new home to show off and a desire to do “stuff”. I’m making a change!

Does this mean I’m gonna get out there and start hitting the bars, trolling for dates, and talking-up strange women? (Have you actually read any of these posts?) Hell no! When it comes to conventional dating, I’m a huge skeptic. (Not to mention I suck at it.) No, I’ve decided that I’m never going to find what I’m looking for (not that I actually know what that is) by relying on my dating skills and actually attempting to pick-up women. Instead, I’m going to start doing things I like to do and see what happens.

What am I talking about? Well, things like a book club. I’m trying to start up a book club with a couple of the hottest bartenders this side of Mars. I’m also thinking about taking a creative writing class at the local community college. Maybe a ballroom dancing class, or perhaps something in a foreign language. (Hola! Sabina!)

So, expect a whole new level of posts coming soon! Less bitching and more action!

Still single, and waiting… and waiting… and waiting,

Scott

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The List: An Explanation

Hello to all my readers that reside in their Black and White worlds! This is Scott, coming to you live from a world of color!

As I’m sure most of you are aware, I recently posted a blog with partial list of my wants in a mate. Well, based on the responses that post has generated, it has come to my attention that I have some ‘splainin’ to do! So, for those living in their black and white worlds, before you read this, you may want to put on some safety glasses or a rain poncho, because I wouldn’t want my world bleeding into, and making a blurry mess of, your well defined, yes or no, world.

Let me start off by stating the obvious. I don’t know what I want in a mate. That list of wants you took so literally do not, will not, can not, and should not be read as a definition of the person that I am looking for, wanting, or should even be with. It was just a list of wants. It was a list based on the laziest-of-lazy logic and emotion. And, as with all wants, it meant nothing.

That’s right! I said it! Wants are worthless, pointless, and mean absolutely nothing! Wants are not based on fact, or sound logic, and shouldn’t be taken as such. Wants, at their best, are based on the weakest data possible, past personal experiences. At their worst, they’re based on imagined, or second-hand, experience. The only way wants could ever be meaningful and literal is if you had experienced everything, and I do mean everything, that has, or will, ever happen. I don’t know about your worlds, but in mine, that’s a flat-out impossibility.

So, then, why did I even bother making the list? Easy. Because even though they mean nothing, I still have them, and yes, still rely on them to guide me.

Does that mean I take them literally? OH HELL NO! For one thing, if you could see that list through my eyes, you would notice that each word is a different shade of color, with a different level of intensity, and are written in a variety of text sizes. Some of the words would be big, bold, and obvious while others would be miniscule and nearly invisible. And even then, the list would mean nothing, because I don’t know what I want. I just haven’t experienced enough to be definitive.

So why write this post? Because I want to be absolutely certain that everyone knows that the only thing I am absolutely sure of is that I am absolutely sure of nothing! In fact, I am so sure that I am sure of nothing, that I can’t even guarantee that the person I do end up with won’t match that list perfectly. Who knows, maybe I will meet a person that fits that list. And what if they do match that list? Does it mean I should, or even want, to be with them? No. So stop taking things so literally, damn-it! I don’t know what I’m talking about!

Still single and avoiding things I don’t think I want,

Scott