The Little Round Frog

This has nothing to do with dating or being single. It’s just a children’s poem that I wrote that I rather like! ~Scott

The Little Round Frog

The Little Round Frog

by Scott Weaver

Born in the mud,

From under a log,

On a backwater creek,

Come a funny little frog.

Now most frogs come out,

Two eyes and a tail,

With no arms or legs,

They look like a snail.

This frog, though,

Was just a squishy little ball,

With two eyes in the middle,

And no tail at all.

Now most frogs, they swim,

‘Til that tail falls off,

To reveal two little legs,

All ready to hop.

But our little frog,

Not able to swim,

Quickly lost sight of that log,

As the waves carried him.

Away and away,

Our little frog went,

Down that backwater creek,

Only going where it sent.

Until finally one day,

With a resounding “ker-plop”,

He was tossed on a rock

Where he came to a stop.

Now he might have died right there,

On top of that rock,

If Bob, the white dog,

Hadn’t seen that green spot.

Now, Bob, being curious,

As dogs tend to be,

Crept up to the rock,

To have a look-see.

What he saw was a spot,

With two little eyes,

Looking up at him,

With fear and surprise.

“What are you?”

Bob asked the little green spot,

“I think I’m a frog,

Stuck on a rock”.

“Well, hello little frog,

Stuck on a rock!

I’m Bob the white dog!”

He said to the spot.

“Where are your legs?

That let you hop, hop, hop, hop?”

“I haven’t got any legs.

I just roll and ker-plop!”

“Oh!” said Bob,

“Would you like me to help?

I love helping things!”

He said with a yelp.

And he pushed his black nose,

Down onto the spot,

‘Til it was stuck on the tip,

Like an old piece of snot.

And he raced off to home,

To the pond in the back,

And set the frog down,

On the edge of the grass.

“Thank you!” said the frog,

“I owe you a lot!

If not for you,

I would have died on that rock!”

“Aw, twas nothin’!

Just usin’ my nose!

It’s what friends do for friends,

And we’re friends, don’t you know!”

And that’s how he became,

Did Bob the white dog,

The bestest of friends,

With a little round frog.

Pre-Holiday Advice Response

Sabina,

I do believe “Eric” is actually Latin for “Lazy Blogger”, so give me a friggin’ break!!! HE HE HE

No, I don’t actually have those problems. My family decided I was lame a long time ago and just don’t expect anything out of me.

I do actually have the problem of hating being alone for the holidays though. Not that I’m not happy with being single. I really am way too good at being single.

No. What I have a problem with is the holiday kissing traditions! You know, the mistletoe and the New-Years-Eve-spit-swap. I have never actually had the opportunity to take part in any of those traditions! (at least I don’t remember any, which tells you how lame my dating life has been, since I know I’ve had at least one girlfriend during the holidays)

As for advice for you…

I say buck up and deal with it this year. No drinking. No drugging. Just take it and say thank you! Because, the simple fact is that the only people that are bothering with the questions obviously don’t know you or your life. So they don’t f-ing matter! Besides, it will make the flight to London that much sweeter, knowing that you have thousands of miles of ocean between you and the questions!

And heck, if you don’t like that idea, well… I’ll give you my phone number. They can call and talk to me. I’ll be your American lover that met you on an impetuous trip to Mexico City! The distance and family obligations here kept me from making it down there during the holidays.

You can tell them I’m planning on meeting you in London, as I too will be going to University in England. It’s a small Welsh school of animal husbandry (I’m hoping to breed Peruvian Inca Orchids for use as sled-dogs) that you have forgotten the name of. Tell them I am very good with children, but very unsure about my ability to father any thanks to a unicycle accident as a child.

We can work on the backstory more later. I’m thinking Indiana Jones meets Bridget Jones Diary.

Still single and looking forward to breeding South American dogs in England!

Scott Eric Weaver

Is it really beneficial?

Sabina, I feel for ya. I really do. I’ve been there, done that, and had to deal with the fall out as well. But I have to ask, since I asked myself this same question, is it really beneficial? Sure, they help you get a release that, let’s face it, is completely different then the one you can provide yourself, but do you gain anything from it? And, although we call them “friends” with benefits, are they really friends during the friends with benefits time? Or are they really just trusted living sexual aids? No more then a living dildo or a fleshy blow-up doll?

I know, that seems terribly uncaring and crude, but let’s face it, if they aren’t looked at as unfeeling sexual tools, then all you’re doing is lying to yourself and your partner(s). You’re in a full-blown adult sexual and emotional relationship! That’s just how it works. I’m not saying it’s love. It doesn’t have to be love. But the absence of love does not mean the absence of feeling and emotion. In fact, I don’t think it’s actually possible to have sex with the same person more then once without having feelings and emotions attached to that person. It’s human nature. Humans bond through shared and similarly-shared experiences. You can’t get a much more shared experience then consensual adult sex.

So I say that if you can confide in someone, look forward to being with someone, and put your trust in someone while having sex with that same someone, then you have no right to expect that person to maintain an emotional distance. It’s ludicrous! You’re defying the very definition of a friend.

You want a friend with benefits? Get a dog or a cat (the benefit is there’s none of that sexual tension, they don’t talk back, and you can lock them in a room when they get really annoying and they don’t hate you for it). You want a friend with sexual benefits, then call them what they really are, boyfriend, girlfriend, lover, whatever. Just don’t expect them to be emotionless. You’re not.

Oh, and if you can handle more then one (I know I can’t) then do that. Just make sure they know what they’re getting into.

Still single and now getting off my soapbox,

Scott

[UPDATE] Just so that everyone reading this (especially Sabina) knows, I am not condemning Sabina for any of her actions in this blog. I can’t condemn her for doing something I myself have done in the past. I was just expressing my own experience-gained opinion on the matter of friends with benefits. Sabina is a good-hearted, thoughtful, fucked-up person just like me. I love her dearly and would not want anyone reading this to think otherwise. Okay. I feel better now. S.