Holy Crap! That’s cool!!!

So, if you look to the right of this post, you will see a section that says “Serially Single Updates”.
click button to sign up for Serially Single notifications
You should totally do this! I know, cause I put it up there, but didn’t try it. Well, I tried it, and wow, it sent me the entire post through email!!! Soo cool and soo easy!!

See, look at what it sent me!!!

Scott


How Not to Get Laid…

Don’t…

…be a fatty! To get laid as a fatty you’re going to need alcohol, the ability to make people laugh, and, quite possibly, cash.

…be a pussy! No confidence in your “game”? No getting laid!

…act needy! Sure, we all have a need to connect with people, but if you can’t give them space… you’re not getting laid!

…be nice! The one’s that are nice and looking for nice aren’t going to give it up without a lot of work. If that’s what you’re looking for, then stop looking to just get laid!!!

…have a hairy chest! The only one’s that like the hairy chests are the ones that used to cuddle with one, in the middle of winter, because there was no one else around, in the 1940’s!

…EVER get duped by “verification” responses to Craigslist ads! They aren’t real! And you won’t get laid… but you will get fucked!!!

…whine about not getting laid! Whiner’s don’t get anything but more annoying! Stop it!

…act like something you’re not! Not really a stud? Stop acting like it! Not really skinny? Stop acting like it! Not really a woman? Stop hitting on me!!! You’re not getting laid!

Still single, and not getting laid!!!

Scott

P.S. writing a blog about dating does not qualify as whining!

*note: the only thing on this list that applies to women is the “hairy” entry, and even that’s questionable!

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I’m In Love With A Girl That Doesn’t Exist

It’s true. I’m in love with a girl that doesn’t exist. I don’t even know her name. Actually, she doesn’t have a name because she lives in my head. I don’t even really know what she looks like. Sometimes I think she looks like Zooey Deschanel. But most of the time she’s kinda of a blur.

Mostly I know that she doesn’t like all of the same things I do, thinks different from me, and makes me laugh. I like her because she’s “real” with me.

Yeah, I’m in love with a fantasy of a girl that gets pissed at me and tells me no!

I guess I’m kind of a realist when it comes to fantasy (at least the kind of fantasy I can freely divulge on this blog). I think I know why though. I think it’s because deep down, at the core of it all, I’m a desperately practical man. As much crap as I talk, as crazy as I’m able to think, deep down I analyze the situation and take the safe, easy route. The one that won’t land me in jail. The one that won’t rape my wallet. The one that won’t make me look attractive to the kind of girls I really (think I) want to meet.

God I have a lot to change…

Well, my rum and coke is empty, so I guess I’ll stop there.

Is this a good post? I guess I don’t care. I have rum to drink and girls in bikinis in tropical Mexico to watch.

Oh,  and the whole “changing the inner-me” stuff to work on.

Still single and sitting alone in a hotel room drinking rum and thinking about life, my core being, and girls in bikinis,

Scott

[FYI Context Update: As of 1:42 am the author would like to note that a 750 ml bottle of Tommy Bahama (yes, of the Hawaiian Shirt variety) Rum that was 1/4 empty prior to the nights events is now standing at 3/4 empty! Yes, I drank half the bottle tonight! Oops! Scott]

Contemplative

What am I REALLY looking for in a woman?

nice butt
funny
kind
smart
sexy
irreverent
crazy
lazy with an ambitious twist
emotionally aware
witty
cute
romantic
tomboyish
looks good in a baseball cap
not picky about food
good tipper
sexual, but not overly so
reader
thinker
sensual
easy laugher
not to serious
wants to get lost with me
explorer
homely
nice
sweet
great eyes
jackass
smartass
polite
not religious
free thinker
likes sports
wants me

Have you ever done this? Made an in-comprehensive list of wants in a mate? No order or pattern, just what comes to mind?

I know some who think this is key to finding someone. That if you don’t define what you’re looking for, you won’t know when you find it. Which actually has some merit, I suppose, when you think about it. I mean, how can you know what you want without thinking about what you want? But, then again, do you have to actually list it? Do you have to write it down?

I was once trapped in a car for 3 hours with a friend of mine that forced me to come up with the list while I drove and she wrote down the answers. She said that putting it in writing sent it out to the universe and then you would find what you were looking for.

That was over a year ago. Maybe the wanter has to be the actual writer.

She recently told me she still has the list in her purse, where she put it as soon as the drive was over. It’s kind of weird to think that a list of my wants in women are traveling about the world in the bottom of a purse, gathering dust and lint, and that the list doesn’t represent the desires of the person carrying it.

I wonder if it looks anything like this list?

Hmm… Still single,

Scott