The Birthday Dilemma

So, tomorrow is my 32nd birthday. 32 years old. No kids. No wife. No girlfriend. Not even a real prospect. Not even a messy divorce to blame it all on. Just me. I’m not the hit-on kinda guy, and everyone know’s it’s the hit-on kinda guy that gets the girl (apparently it’s something about actually talking to them, or so I hear).

So here’s the dilemma, what do I do? I want most of those things (not in that order, obviously) but don’t know how to go about it. I’ve been doing the dating thing and that doesn’t seem to be working out (either they don’t respond or they do respond and I wish they hadn’t). I don’t get hit-on myself. I don’t have a friend pool to really pull from (not to say there aren’t women in the circles I run in that I wouldn’t date, it’s just that their friends, and they’re everyone’s friends, so if it goes bad…). No one sets me up with other people (apparently I am unique — weird — enough that NO one — and I mean NO one — knows anyone that might be right for me). And they’re not coming to my front door.

So what do I do?

God, I don’t even have an ex to hook up with. I’ve already run through that very short list!

Well, I guess I could just run over a girl on my new bike…

Novara Aspen, my new bike.

Novara Aspen, my new bike.

Do you think CPR counts as a first kiss?

Still single and pedaling towards love,



Take a Good Whiff…

Believe it, or not, you may actually want to take a second and really smell your next date. Your response to their smell is a good indicator of whether or not you and your date are a good genetic match, immunologically speaking at least.

Yeah, you read that right. How someone smells to you, deep down, past the perfume and bodywash, to the real body odor, can tell you a lot about a persons genetic immune system. The better they smell to you, the more likely they are a good genetic match to you.

How does someone’s scent tell me they’re a good genetic match?
Well, first off you need to understand what you’re smelling. As amazing as it may seem, the sweat that pops up on your forehead and under your arms, and that everyone blames for body odor, doesn’t actually smell. What does smell are the bacteria, or, more correctly, the waste secreted by the bacteria, that reside on all our bodies. You see, the sweat comes out of our pours and is absorbed by the bacteria living on our skin. The bacteria then use the sweat and expel the waste the bacteria has generated. Since they live on your skin, they expel that waste on your skin, and that’s what smells.

So, bacteria smell. How does that translate to my genetic makeup?
Each person has a different set of genes that make up the backbone of your immune system. Based on those genes, you will be (to varying degrees) susceptible or immune to certain diseases and bacteria. Because of this, only the bacteria that you are susceptible to (that your immune system can’t kill) can live on you. And since it’s the bacterial waste that gives you your scent, it indicates which immunity genes you carry.

So if they smell good to me, does that mean they have a similar genetic immunity to me?
Nope. The exact opposite! (who knew that even in genetics, opposites attract) A person’s scent will smell good to you when they don’t smell like you. It’s because, somewhere deep down in our subconscious, we naturally understand that a diverse set of genetics (no inbreeding) means a better chance for our offspring to survive. So, the better they smell to you, (the more diverse their bacteria are to yours) the more likely they are to be carrying immunity genes that you yourself do not, which means your offspring will have a more complete of immunity genes and be immune to more bacteria.

However, if you’re a little worried that burying your nose in your date’s neck and taking a big ol’ whiff might be a little off-turning, there’s a more acceptable solution. Rather then sniffing your date, you can get a spit sample (swab the inside of their cheek) and check their actual genetic immunity against yours. It’s called “Spit Dating”, and it’s coming to a dating scene near you. Click here to learn more.

Who knew that “being led around by your nose” might not be bad thing when it comes to finding your perfect (genetic) match! Crazy, huh!

Still single… and “I was just checking our genetic compatibility! Gosh!”,


P.S. Wondering where I get this crap? TV of course! Here’s the show, Popular Science: The Future Of…, I watched to get this tidbit!