A Big Heart Gets No Love

I think there’s something sincerely wrong with me.

I’m nice. Too nice.

And I care too much.

And it freaks girls out.

That’s right. It freaks the ladies out. So instead of doing what I want to do, which is help, I keep my help to myself. And it eats at me and eats at me.

Why do I worry about people I don’t even really know?

I don’t worry about myself? So why did I drive around tonight looking for a worry stone for someone I barely know? For a worry that she wouldn’t even tell me the cause of? For help that I won’t end up giving because I don’t want to freak her out?

Why do I worry about my friends? Will she get pregnant? Will she find happiness with the new guy? Has he finally found the one?

What the hell’s wrong with me? And how do I change it?

And don’t you dare tell me that women really want a guy like me. That’s bullshit! And you know it!

Still single, and steadily drinking myself into a Friday-night-oblivion,

Scott

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The Poop Schedule — A Question

Okay, this may seem a little weird, but I’ve been noticing a trend at work lately. It seems to me that most of the men at my work take craps there!

Why? Who wants to crap on a toilet that’s not theirs? Who wants to sit in a cold stall, possibly surrounded by other people, and do their business? Not me! I schedule my visits!

And then it hit me, I bet they’re crapping at work so they don’t have to crap at home. Is this because they’ve been asked to do it elsewhere by their loved ones? Or are they doing it because they’re nice guys that don’t want to stink it up?

What do you think?

Ladies? Are these guys doing their business at work because of their wives and girlfriends? Have you ever asked a boyfriend or husband to do this? Would you?

Guys, have you ever been asked to do this? Do you do this? Why?

Still single, especially when nature calls,

Scott