Pre-Holiday Advice Response

Sabina,

I do believe “Eric” is actually Latin for “Lazy Blogger”, so give me a friggin’ break!!! HE HE HE

No, I don’t actually have those problems. My family decided I was lame a long time ago and just don’t expect anything out of me.

I do actually have the problem of hating being alone for the holidays though. Not that I’m not happy with being single. I really am way too good at being single.

No. What I have a problem with is the holiday kissing traditions! You know, the mistletoe and the New-Years-Eve-spit-swap. I have never actually had the opportunity to take part in any of those traditions! (at least I don’t remember any, which tells you how lame my dating life has been, since I know I’ve had at least one girlfriend during the holidays)

As for advice for you…

I say buck up and deal with it this year. No drinking. No drugging. Just take it and say thank you! Because, the simple fact is that the only people that are bothering with the questions obviously don’t know you or your life. So they don’t f-ing matter! Besides, it will make the flight to London that much sweeter, knowing that you have thousands of miles of ocean between you and the questions!

And heck, if you don’t like that idea, well… I’ll give you my phone number. They can call and talk to me. I’ll be your American lover that met you on an impetuous trip to Mexico City! The distance and family obligations here kept me from making it down there during the holidays.

You can tell them I’m planning on meeting you in London, as I too will be going to University in England. It’s a small Welsh school of animal husbandry (I’m hoping to breed Peruvian Inca Orchids for use as sled-dogs) that you have forgotten the name of. Tell them I am very good with children, but very unsure about my ability to father any thanks to a unicycle accident as a child.

We can work on the backstory more later. I’m thinking Indiana Jones meets Bridget Jones Diary.

Still single and looking forward to breeding South American dogs in England!

Scott Eric Weaver

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Contemplative

What am I REALLY looking for in a woman?

nice butt
funny
kind
smart
sexy
irreverent
crazy
lazy with an ambitious twist
emotionally aware
witty
cute
romantic
tomboyish
looks good in a baseball cap
not picky about food
good tipper
sexual, but not overly so
reader
thinker
sensual
easy laugher
not to serious
wants to get lost with me
explorer
homely
nice
sweet
great eyes
jackass
smartass
polite
not religious
free thinker
likes sports
wants me

Have you ever done this? Made an in-comprehensive list of wants in a mate? No order or pattern, just what comes to mind?

I know some who think this is key to finding someone. That if you don’t define what you’re looking for, you won’t know when you find it. Which actually has some merit, I suppose, when you think about it. I mean, how can you know what you want without thinking about what you want? But, then again, do you have to actually list it? Do you have to write it down?

I was once trapped in a car for 3 hours with a friend of mine that forced me to come up with the list while I drove and she wrote down the answers. She said that putting it in writing sent it out to the universe and then you would find what you were looking for.

That was over a year ago. Maybe the wanter has to be the actual writer.

She recently told me she still has the list in her purse, where she put it as soon as the drive was over. It’s kind of weird to think that a list of my wants in women are traveling about the world in the bottom of a purse, gathering dust and lint, and that the list doesn’t represent the desires of the person carrying it.

I wonder if it looks anything like this list?

Hmm… Still single,

Scott