Angsty Single Lesbian Seeks Solitude

I have been unusually quiet in posting lately, and I do have an excuse; I have been very busy being a Northwest cliche. I have been creating an Organic Garden with a very hetero male friend of mine. We spend our time tilling and amending soil, measuring out plots, and of course sowing lots and lots of seeds. And I must say, “dirt therapy” is far more satisfying than any relationship I’ve been in! There’s nothing better than going out into the garden, beating up on the very forgiving soil, and watching something beautiful grow from it. I often think that it would be impossible to find a partner who could truly understand the satisfaction that comes with home farming.

On a side-and-not-completely-unrelated note, I encountered someone yesterday from my past. Someone who I once lusted after with great vigor. This woman was and remains an enigma to me. I met her through a group of friends, via introduction from Scott, as it so happens. She was described to us before she entered the small pizza parlor. A bi-sexual Latina with all the right curves. Tattooed and lovely. Looking around the table at a group of attractive people, I made the early assumption that she wouldn’t have any interest in me, so I put my nose back in the book I was reading. Was she gorgeous? Absolutely. Was she entertaining? Absolutely. And there I was, playing it cool with my nose in a book at a social function. Lo and behold if she didn’t interact with me! We went out dancing that first night, and I admit that I was taken with her. It didn’t go anywhere, and that’s okay with me. She’s married and has a baby now, so everything turned out the way it was supposed to.

The encounter has had me thinking for the last 24 hours about how I approach women. When I make an effort to meet someone, it usually goes awry. When I keep to myself, I apparently give off some kind of cool vibe that makes me interesting and approachable. So with that in mind, I’m looking at a Spring/Summer season full of functions and events that could bring any number of possibilities…as long as I bring my book and keep my cool!

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New Year, New Plan

Scott has commented on his absent co-bloggers, so I thought I’d post a little note.

There have been no new developments in my life, which is why I’ve been away. I have been focusing on investing in my friendships–after all, it’s friends who stick with you when the romantic relationships go sour. I haven’t been meeting new people, and I suppose that’s on purpose. I’m waiting until I feel a little more…marketable?…before I put myself back out there. I have a theory that you can’t be involved in a healthy relationship until you’re in a healthy state of being. So this year will be my year to get healthy and stable. To get into a place where I’m ready to settle down with someone.

But don’t think that means I’ll be staying home alone! I’m most excited about a friend’s Birthday party that will involve a whole new group of lesbians I’ve never met. Look out girls, here I come!

Children

I love children. They are such beautiful, tiny pieces of human innocence. They are precious and darling, and they are able to turn the largest, gruffest man into a marshmallow. Children are amazing and I dream of having some of my own.

Unfortunately, as a single lesbian, children are not traditionally seen as a part of my future. Of course there are many who say that there’s nothing wrong with a single woman adopting and raising children on her own–it’s certainly been done before! But I came from a single parent household and I know how incredibly hard it is to raise a kid with just one income, and just one parent.

I think this may be the driving force behind my interest in dating. It’s not so much that I’m lonely and wishfully imagining romantic getaways…it’s that I ache for a family! Maybe not a white-picket-fence-2.5-children-and-a-dog kind of family, but a family of my own choosing.

Am I alone here? Or are we all ultimately driven by the desire for family?

Lesbian Dating in Portland

I was talking about this with some friends the other night. See, Portland, Oregon is the lesbian capital of America. Portland has a higher per capita lesbian population than anywhere else. So, I ought to have the best luck finding the love of my life here, right?

Here’s what I have discovered about lesbian dating in Portland. When meeting up for that first date, there are two options: Starbucks at the Square, or the Egyptian club. And you can tell what kind of person she is based on which venue she chooses! Also, despite the high population of lesbians, the actual dating pool is kind of small, increasing the liklihood of continually running into exes or at least someone you’ve been out with before. Basically, it’s predictable and I’m thinking that the lesbians of Portland are in a rut.

I don’t know if straight daters experience this same rut or not. How can I get out of this rut? Maybe it’s officially time I looked outside of Portland?

The Reality of the “One That Got Away”

In response to Chrissey’s last post, Awkward.

Well, honestly, if it’s anything like my experiences, you walk around thinking, “It should have been me! It should have been me! Why wasn’t it me?”

Of course, that wears off after you sober up and have a few hours of sleep!

The real trick is to realize that if you really were meant to be the one, then it shouldn’t have taken 10 years to realize that.

And, sure, it’s awkward and uncomfortable, but it’s also just how things work. We want (usually with all our stupid heart and none of our brain) that which we can’t have. The good thing is that wears off and then you realize you really didn’t want that. In fact, (seeing as how in Chrissey’s case she’s straight and wants penis) you will eventually understand that not getting what you thought you wanted is probably the best thing that could have happened.

As for the hot date thing, does it really make a difference? You’ll still feel the same way! The only way you wouldn’t feel the same way was if you actually didn’t care anymore. Besides, you can’t be sure they would even notice and if they didn’t that would be even more upsetting.

So chill! It’s the past. Let it stay there!

And Chrissey, you have bigger fish (that you’re still hooked on and need to cut the line before she pulls you under) to fry.

Still single and living the life of a man of God (at least the celibate part),

Scott

Hey! We’re Gay!

You heard me right, my little voyeurs! We here at Serially Single have gone gay! We are totally out of the closet and in your face!

No! No! No! Not me!

And not Sabina, either!

We’ve let an old gay friend of mine, Chrissey, join the fray!

So, make sure to post lewd, rude, and crude comments! She loves it like that!

Still single and very much straight and boring,

Scott

P.S. How do you know that a house was built by lesbians? There are no studs and nothing got nailed. It’s all just tongue n’ groove!