Secret Crush

Secret Crush
written and read by Scott Weaver

She’s tall, around 5′ 11′, maybe even 6 foot.
She has raven-black hair that runs straight, all the way down past her shoulder blades.
She’s pale like a winter moon.
She’s beautiful.

She’s not fat, but not skinny.
She has a soft round face with deep-set eyes.
She looks naive, and shy, and wholesome.
She’s quiet.

I see her punching timestamps on receipts a couple of times a week.
Sometimes she goes to lunch with a short, fat, funny-haired old guy from the office.
She wears dark floral skirts that cover her knees and simple flats on her feet.
When she’s cold, she wears a shiny black-suede jacket, tied in the front.
I don’t think she’s noticed, that I’ve noticed, that she’s beautiful.

She’s my secret crush.

Be Quiet. Be Vewy, Vewy, Quiet. [UPDATE]

Yep, I did it again! I went on another date. This time, it was a blind date. She is a friend of a friends partner. We all (me, my friend from work, her partner, and my date) went to a comedy club last friday.

She was gorgeous!!!

I was quiet…

She has a 5 month old daughter!!!

That doesn’t bother me at all, but I didn’t tell her that…

She ordered the same drink I did!!!

But I didn’t make a single comment about it…

She got really mad about a drunk guy that kept running into me!!!

But I don’t believe in arguing with the drunk and stupid, so I didn’t make a sound…

She works in IT, like me!!!

But I didn’t ask a single question…

She later told my friend and her partner that I was very quiet!!!

And suddenly I sent off about 4 BILLION text messages to that friend about how lame I was and that she should really send the girl my person contact information!!!

And my friend sent off the information!!!!

But I haven’t heard a word…

Still single, and just realized that Elmer Fudd was talking about hunting, not dating.

Scott

[UPDATE] While I still haven’t heard from her personally, I have heard from my friend that she enjoyed the date and wishes I hadn’t been so quiet. She’s looking forward to date #2!

Which, by the way, at this point looks to be another double date in mid December. What are we doing? Going to a strip club!!!!

I sure do live an odd singles life!!!!

Scott