Slowly, I return…

Oh, dear reader, it’s been too long! How are you? I’ve missed you terribly! I hope everything is well with you.

Well, I have completely moved back into my apartment (except for 2 more paintings to put up, that’s tomorrow). It’s beautiful!!! I will send pictures soon, I promise!

I also have the boys back! And let me tell you, they are soooooo cute! (I just don’t remember this much hair!!! Damn!)

So, I actually did it! I formed a book club with a couple of girls from the bar! Our first book is Memoirs of a Geisha! And today we’re all bringing in our baby pictures (they don’t believe I was at my sexual peak as a 1st grader!). Woo Hoo!

Nothing on the dating front. Who has time for the drama of dating with work and moving and reading and watching tv?

Well, I have to go. Subway, the sun, some good jazz, and Memoirs are calling my name!

Still single and okay with it,

Scott

P.S. What the hell have you been up to, dear reader? Anything good? I’d love to hear about it!!! S.

Women Are Not Just Sex Objects!!!

I know this to be true! For my mother told me so!

However, having only had the chance to partake in the glory that is the “non-sexual” woman lately, I must say that I’m… getting tired of it.

I want to ogle naked boobies! I want to indulge in the sins that made me! I want a sex object! I have needs ya…

Hey! Look at that! The girl from The Big Bang Theory is on the cover of Maxim! And she’s not wearing very much!

Kaley Cuoco From Maxim Cover

Maxim Cover Shot of Kaley!!!

Hmmm…

Never mind. I’m good now.

Still single and a steadfast champion of women and their right to be more then just sex objects… for all but 15 minutes of every day!

Scott

What If… The Post

Hey!! It’s the new game where I come up with random scenarios (that in no way represent me or my life) and you respond with what you would do!!! Yay!!!

So tell all your friends!! (Really, I’m not kidding! Tell them!)

Here’s the first one!

THE POST

It’s a Friday night, you’re alone, and the wine you had earlier has gone to your head (you know you shouldn’t have opened that second bottle). When suddenly, in a fit of latent sexual need and no conscience, you post an ad in the “Casual Encounters” section of Craigslist…

Then next morning, after you’ve washed away the wine-drool from last night, cleaned up the two empty bottles of wine, scrubbed away the faint red circles all over your counters, and thrown away the Taco Bell wrappers of a meal you don’t remember ever getting, you decide you had better check your email. But when you wake your computer, you find your browser still open to Craigslist, and it says…

Thank you for posting “Screw it! Screw me!!!”

“That’s right! I said it! Screw me! Yeah, I may not be in the best of shape, and I may not be the hottest thing in town, but I’m willing and available all weekend!!! So respond with a picture and let’s get it on!!!

Sincerely,

Do Me!!!”

After a few choice expletives, you check your email, and there it is, a response…

“Re: Screw it! Screw me!!!

Are you for real? Because if you are… well, here’s a picture of me. What do you think?”

You scroll down to see the picture and… wow, they’re actually cute.

What do you do?

Still single and now making shit up!!!

Scott

Changing My Gameplan

2009 was a year of disappointments, weird sexual encounters, and wonderful new friendships. I’m going to focus on the friendship angle. I’m going to look for a friend, a confidant, a companion of the opposite sex. No more desperate dating on desperate websites. No more late night Craigslist adds of questionable intent. No more basing my dating choices strictly on looks. No more searching for meaningless sex. I’m done with all that. Besides, I can’t really have meaningless sex anyway. It always means something, even if it just means I feel guilty later…

So, 2010, you’re here, I’m here… what do you say we get it o… I mean, let’s talk!

Still single and now looking at what’s on the inside,

Scott

Contemplative

What am I REALLY looking for in a woman?

nice butt
funny
kind
smart
sexy
irreverent
crazy
lazy with an ambitious twist
emotionally aware
witty
cute
romantic
tomboyish
looks good in a baseball cap
not picky about food
good tipper
sexual, but not overly so
reader
thinker
sensual
easy laugher
not to serious
wants to get lost with me
explorer
homely
nice
sweet
great eyes
jackass
smartass
polite
not religious
free thinker
likes sports
wants me

Have you ever done this? Made an in-comprehensive list of wants in a mate? No order or pattern, just what comes to mind?

I know some who think this is key to finding someone. That if you don’t define what you’re looking for, you won’t know when you find it. Which actually has some merit, I suppose, when you think about it. I mean, how can you know what you want without thinking about what you want? But, then again, do you have to actually list it? Do you have to write it down?

I was once trapped in a car for 3 hours with a friend of mine that forced me to come up with the list while I drove and she wrote down the answers. She said that putting it in writing sent it out to the universe and then you would find what you were looking for.

That was over a year ago. Maybe the wanter has to be the actual writer.

She recently told me she still has the list in her purse, where she put it as soon as the drive was over. It’s kind of weird to think that a list of my wants in women are traveling about the world in the bottom of a purse, gathering dust and lint, and that the list doesn’t represent the desires of the person carrying it.

I wonder if it looks anything like this list?

Hmm… Still single,

Scott

Is it really beneficial?

Sabina, I feel for ya. I really do. I’ve been there, done that, and had to deal with the fall out as well. But I have to ask, since I asked myself this same question, is it really beneficial? Sure, they help you get a release that, let’s face it, is completely different then the one you can provide yourself, but do you gain anything from it? And, although we call them “friends” with benefits, are they really friends during the friends with benefits time? Or are they really just trusted living sexual aids? No more then a living dildo or a fleshy blow-up doll?

I know, that seems terribly uncaring and crude, but let’s face it, if they aren’t looked at as unfeeling sexual tools, then all you’re doing is lying to yourself and your partner(s). You’re in a full-blown adult sexual and emotional relationship! That’s just how it works. I’m not saying it’s love. It doesn’t have to be love. But the absence of love does not mean the absence of feeling and emotion. In fact, I don’t think it’s actually possible to have sex with the same person more then once without having feelings and emotions attached to that person. It’s human nature. Humans bond through shared and similarly-shared experiences. You can’t get a much more shared experience then consensual adult sex.

So I say that if you can confide in someone, look forward to being with someone, and put your trust in someone while having sex with that same someone, then you have no right to expect that person to maintain an emotional distance. It’s ludicrous! You’re defying the very definition of a friend.

You want a friend with benefits? Get a dog or a cat (the benefit is there’s none of that sexual tension, they don’t talk back, and you can lock them in a room when they get really annoying and they don’t hate you for it). You want a friend with sexual benefits, then call them what they really are, boyfriend, girlfriend, lover, whatever. Just don’t expect them to be emotionless. You’re not.

Oh, and if you can handle more then one (I know I can’t) then do that. Just make sure they know what they’re getting into.

Still single and now getting off my soapbox,

Scott

[UPDATE] Just so that everyone reading this (especially Sabina) knows, I am not condemning Sabina for any of her actions in this blog. I can’t condemn her for doing something I myself have done in the past. I was just expressing my own experience-gained opinion on the matter of friends with benefits. Sabina is a good-hearted, thoughtful, fucked-up person just like me. I love her dearly and would not want anyone reading this to think otherwise. Okay. I feel better now. S.