Craigslist… You Haunt Me

Seriously, why do you exist, Craigslist?

Why do you taunt me with meaningless sex when you know it’s not what I really want?

Why do I continue to believe that maybe, just maybe, there’s a girl out there looking for love in the casual encounters section?

Why?

Damn you Craigslist!

Damn you to hell!

Still single, bored, and lonely,

Scott

I Love Myself

I Love Myself
written and read by Scott Weaver

Oh, I love, I love, I love myself!
Yes, indeed, I do!
I love, I love, I love myself!
And I think that you should to!

Now don’t be coy and subtle with me,
If you think I’m a handsome dude!
Just walk right up and tell me so,
And I’ll say, “How do you do!”

Oh, I love, I love, I love myself!
Yes, indeed, I do!
I love, I love, I love myself!
And I think you’re starting to, to!

Now don’t be all shy and ladylike,
Cause I can’t read that crap either!
If you want my love, you’ll have to prove
That you’re an eager beaver!

Oh, I love, I love, I love myself!
Yes, indeed, I do!
I love, I love, I love myself!
Don’t you love me to?

Now if you really want to be with me,
All you have to do is say, “Hi!
You’re really, really hot and sexy,
And I want you to be my guy!”

Oh, I love, I love, I love myself!
I really, really, do!
But I’m kind of tired of myself,
And I’d like to try-on you!

Now if we meet, and do hook up,
Don’t wait for me to make the move,
Because you see, I’m shy as can be,
And you’ll have to do that to!

Well, I love, I love, I love myself!
You know this to be true!
But for as much as I love myself,
I could really use a screw!

The Difference of a Day

You may find this hard to believe, fair reader, but today I am content with my singularity.

I know, I know, after reading this blog you may think I’m at best a huge whiner, at worst a crazed schizo with split personalities, but the simple fact is that I’m a little bit of both and a lot more. (Just like you, I like to imagine.) What comes out depends on my mood, my intent with the blog, and, of course, my current state of sobriety. Often, I’m not exactly sure what’s lurking in the depths of my consciousness, and am just as surprised at what is produced  when I put finger to keyboard as I’m sure you are.

So, for the moment, I am content, maybe even happy, to be free from the worry of relating, questioning, or considering the rest of existence. This morning it was all about me, my, and I! A fresh cup of coffee next to the river, a good book (The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo) on the Kindle, and the freedom to enjoy the cloudless, 50 degree day blooming before me.

So, yeah, today I am content. The lingering effects of last night’s beers, my want and worry, my overwhelming desire to be attached, all gone. Today I am Single, not single.

That, my friends, is the difference of a day.

Still happily unattached and daydreaming of ways to mess that all up,

Scott

To My Future Wife

To my future wife, on this Christmas Eve…

I pledge my undying love, affection, trust, and support

I look forward to meeting you

I miss you

I want you

I ask for your forgiveness

To all the women in between…

How you doin’?

The List: An Explanation

Hello to all my readers that reside in their Black and White worlds! This is Scott, coming to you live from a world of color!

As I’m sure most of you are aware, I recently posted a blog with partial list of my wants in a mate. Well, based on the responses that post has generated, it has come to my attention that I have some ‘splainin’ to do! So, for those living in their black and white worlds, before you read this, you may want to put on some safety glasses or a rain poncho, because I wouldn’t want my world bleeding into, and making a blurry mess of, your well defined, yes or no, world.

Let me start off by stating the obvious. I don’t know what I want in a mate. That list of wants you took so literally do not, will not, can not, and should not be read as a definition of the person that I am looking for, wanting, or should even be with. It was just a list of wants. It was a list based on the laziest-of-lazy logic and emotion. And, as with all wants, it meant nothing.

That’s right! I said it! Wants are worthless, pointless, and mean absolutely nothing! Wants are not based on fact, or sound logic, and shouldn’t be taken as such. Wants, at their best, are based on the weakest data possible, past personal experiences. At their worst, they’re based on imagined, or second-hand, experience. The only way wants could ever be meaningful and literal is if you had experienced everything, and I do mean everything, that has, or will, ever happen. I don’t know about your worlds, but in mine, that’s a flat-out impossibility.

So, then, why did I even bother making the list? Easy. Because even though they mean nothing, I still have them, and yes, still rely on them to guide me.

Does that mean I take them literally? OH HELL NO! For one thing, if you could see that list through my eyes, you would notice that each word is a different shade of color, with a different level of intensity, and are written in a variety of text sizes. Some of the words would be big, bold, and obvious while others would be miniscule and nearly invisible. And even then, the list would mean nothing, because I don’t know what I want. I just haven’t experienced enough to be definitive.

So why write this post? Because I want to be absolutely certain that everyone knows that the only thing I am absolutely sure of is that I am absolutely sure of nothing! In fact, I am so sure that I am sure of nothing, that I can’t even guarantee that the person I do end up with won’t match that list perfectly. Who knows, maybe I will meet a person that fits that list. And what if they do match that list? Does it mean I should, or even want, to be with them? No. So stop taking things so literally, damn-it! I don’t know what I’m talking about!

Still single and avoiding things I don’t think I want,

Scott