Slowly, I return…

Oh, dear reader, it’s been too long! How are you? I’ve missed you terribly! I hope everything is well with you.

Well, I have completely moved back into my apartment (except for 2 more paintings to put up, that’s tomorrow). It’s beautiful!!! I will send pictures soon, I promise!

I also have the boys back! And let me tell you, they are soooooo cute! (I just don’t remember this much hair!!! Damn!)

So, I actually did it! I formed a book club with a couple of girls from the bar! Our first book is Memoirs of a Geisha! And today we’re all bringing in our baby pictures (they don’t believe I was at my sexual peak as a 1st grader!). Woo Hoo!

Nothing on the dating front. Who has time for the drama of dating with work and moving and reading and watching tv?

Well, I have to go. Subway, the sun, some good jazz, and Memoirs are calling my name!

Still single and okay with it,


P.S. What the hell have you been up to, dear reader? Anything good? I’d love to hear about it!!! S.

Dating the Young (an Informal response to Cougar Hunting)

OK. You’ve read about dating a 27 year-old (4 years isn’t really much of a difference) friend of my brother. How’s that going? Pretty good. He doesn’t want anything serious, since he’s fresh off a disastrous breakup. I seem to perpetually shy away from anything serious. But, how much younger can I go?

A few days ago, returning from a trip to the flooded airport, and unable to leave the airport (the flooding included the whole area around the airport), I asked a sweet-looking kid at an information booth to let me charge my phone. Nothing strange there, right? While my phone charged just enough to keep me communicated, the boy (seriously, a boy) straightened his tie, closed all the chat windows on his computer, and offered me a seat in the booth. I hesitated… Surely, I would be able to call home and figure out a way to get there soon (boy was I wrong, but more on that later).

He smiled; he thought that surely I was tired from my trip. I reminded him that I’d been sitting down during said trip. He asked me where I’d been. I answered.

“Is it nice?”

“Beautiful, too bad I was caught up in boardrooms most of the time.”

“Do you travel much?”

“Too much.”

“I’d love to travel, that’s why I studied tourism.” That’s when he decided to strike. “I just finished college, I graduated last month.” (He glowed when he said this, sure that his achievement would hook me.) “This is my first job, at city information booths, I’ve been here a few months, but this is the first time I was assigned to the airport.” Shit! So that’s why his suit looks so polished and he looks like he doesn’t belong in a suit (I’m pretty sure his mom bought it). He’s barely out of his teens! I mean, I knew he was pretty young, but that’s about a decade younger than me.

I smiled and tried to look unfazed that a kid that young was hitting on me. A call from his boss gave me time to regroup, and I decided that this innocent flirting with a kid was actually flattering. He hung up and told me the news, “It’s official, the airport’s closed because of the storm.” Considering the fact that my plane had landed in a puddle after 20 minutes of intense turbulence and lightning, this was not surprising.

“Well, at least my plane managed to land. I guess I’ll take a cab home, no need to have anyone else drive in this weather.”

He smiled at my perennial optimism. “It’s closed to traffic, too. No one can come in or out, the streets are flooded.”

That floored me. I was stuck at the airport, and all I wanted was to get home. On the other hand, there was the smiling kid on the other side of the counter. I called a friend (she’s been house- and cat-sitting). She told me the whole city was flooded, there was no way to get home. I hung up and let the phone finish charging. The airport already looked empty. No one had been able to get there in a few hours, and now, with no new planes landing, there were fewer people wandering the halls. Most of the stranded passengers were making arrangements at the airport hotels. I considered it. A bed is a bed, right? Then I decided to wait. The kid got another call from his boss, sending him home. Right! Home! As if he could get there. He closed up the booth for the night and tried for home:

“Since we’re both stranded here, how about some dinner. I hear there are some OK restaurants and bars here.”

I faltered. Dare I? One thing was flirting, but dinner… I told him I wasn’t hungry, but I could go for a drink. We walked over to one of the airport bars, and sat down. He told me about his plans to work at a hotel somewhere far away. We talked about the places we’ve been, and the places we want to go. His boss called his cell phone. An airport transport but would be taking employees out of the flood in an hour. He smiled, said I could go with him if I wanted to. I smiled, and used the exit I’d been given. No, I didn’t go with him, I was sure I’d be able to find a way home not that the rain had stopped. The flood had to subside at some point. We kept talking, and he left.

And now I wonder, does this kid have any idea how old I am? Do I look younger than I am, or is a thirty-something woman a cougar to a 21 year-old? In my favor, short, spiky, purple hair usually tricks men about my age (seriously, how many people travelling for business do you find in jeans and tank tops, with the aforementioned hairdo?). Do 21 year-old college grads look for women in their 30’s like 30 year-olds look for cougars?

Either way, I’m flattered.

Defining Boys, Girls, Men, Women, and Companions

I realize that I have been using some terms in my blogs that have assumed meanings to most that I don’t completely agree with. So, to help my own understanding, and that of my audience, I have decided to define them. These are intended as generalizations, and are not to be applied, as-is, specifically to one person or another.

Emotional Life Stages:

I think the majority of both males and females go through a variety of generalized emotional life stages during their lives. With most it happens over time or through a major life event. While others, never change. Each person is different and so are their stages, but in general, I think both males and females go through distinct emotional life stages.

Female Stages:

Girl — I’m not going to define girls. We all know what they are. All females have all been, and, in part at least, will always be them. (If you feel the need to define them, feel free to do so in comments and I may update this post.)

Woman — A woman is a girl that has come to grips with the fact that she won’t always have her looks, that is done being treated like shit by their partners, and wants to have and share their own (not just their partners) experiences. A woman is self-guided, self-aware, and is generally content with herself.

Male Stages:

Boy — I’m not going to define boys. We all know what they are. All males have all been, and, in part at least, will always be them. (If you feel the need to define them, feel free to do so in comments and I may update this post.)

Man — It’s a boy that has sexual desire and can spread his seed. That’s all. There’s no implied emotional growth. They’re just boys that want sex and can impregnate girls.

Companion — It’s a man that can no longer, or may not actually want to,  attract girls (or boys, if that’s his choice). It’s a man where his sexual desire is no longer a leading factor in life. It’s a man that wants to share and broaden his experiences with a partner. It’s a man that finally seeks what girls have always sought, companionship.

The Transitions:

From Girl to Woman — The Female Transition

Speaking in general terms, girls don’t completely become women until they reach the age of 60, as a single parent have children after the age of 25, suffer a terrible illness, or have been married for more then 5 years. Because of the ever-changing nature of the female body, this is not directly tied to puberty or menopause.

From Boy to Man to Companion — The Male Transition

Unlike females, the male transition from boy to man is mostly the physical and hormonal change of puberty. The transition to companion doesn’t usually happen until they reach the age of 65, get divorced, or have grand children.