The Choice — A Half-Assed Response

Hi! I’m Lefty, Scott’s left butt cheek, and it has always been my choice to live a life of freedom. But as I grow older I have come to the realization that I’m missing out on a lot of things that life has to offer.

Now, I’m not saying that the life I live today is not a good one. Quite the contrary, I thoroughly enjoy my life. I can bare all when I feel like it, and don’t have to ask permission. When I’m feeling sensitive I can wrap myself in a nice pair of jeans! And I’ve got my best friend Righty with my all the time! It’s just that a best friend is only a best friend. Sure, Righty and I just blow with the wind whenever we feel a breeze and have really grown attached to each other over the years, but it would be nice to cuddle cheek-to-cheek with someone else, you know? To leave an imprint on the world with someone new. And, hey, a guy needs a little slap and tickle now and then to really feel alive! Righty just can’t provide that! Even something as simple as a warm palm in my pocket as we walk the boardwalk would be nice. I want the simple things in life. To be fondled while shaking it on the dance floor. The amorous pinch that makes me tingle with excitement. Maybe even the feeling of little hands hanging from my pocket! I just need something new. I need something fresh!

So, maybe freedom has been my choice up until now, but I think that’s changed. I still need a buddy! That goes without saying. Righty and I will always be close, but, in the end, I think I need more. I need more then just someone to bum around with. I need someone that is sweet, yet firm. Someone that can help carry the load and yet soft enough to cushion the blows when we get knocked down. Someone that I can just shoot the shit with and that won’t get all uptight when I’m a little cheeky!

I guess I’m just looking love.

Is that too much to ask? Or am I just making an ass of myself?

Still single,


The Choice

I’ve been contemplating this question for awhile… Do I choose to be single?

I have had a few relationships in my life, nothing truly significant. I have looked to the relationships around me and seen disaster after disaster–I mean, my parents were never even married. I have tried to imagine the person I could share my life with, but without any success.

So I have to wonder; Do I choose to be single, or is it lack of options?

I prefer to think that being single is my choice, because it means I’m in control. I am making a choice for my life. I choose to stay single, saying that I’m not in any condition to share my life, that I’m too selfish to share my life with someone, that no one would want to marry an insufferable gal like me…the list goes on. The bottom line is, I say it’s my choice.

But now I’m beginning to wonder. As I see some of my friends’ relationships mature, and watch them having children and making lives together, I start to want all of that too. Maybe the reality is that I’m single because I’m afraid to put out the effort, or because I don’t try to meet new people. Maybe I’m single because of a lack of opportunity.

Whether by choice or not, I’m still single and increasingly unhappy about it.

The Freedoms #1

So there good things about being single. One of which I demonstrated this weekend. Movie choices.

Is it really that big of a deal, being able to watch the movie you want to watch, without having to consider another opinion? No. Not really. But it sure doesn’t cause stress, either.

The story:

So, wanting to include a female friend of mine, I asked if she wanted to see a movie this weekend and suggested the new Transformers. Turns out, she’s not into the transformers things, didn’t see the first one, doesn’t want to see this one. So we went back and forth, looking for mutual ground (which there’s a lot of, I like pretty much every type of movie, but there’s a lot I won’t pay the extra money just to see in a theatre… but that’s another post). We finally agreed on “The Soloist”, but the times were not doable.

So what did I end up doing? I went and saw the new transformers movie alone Sunday morning. And I really enjoyed the movie (and Megan Fox!! Holy shit she’s hot).

Did I actually prove my point, that it’s less stressful sometimes being single? No, cause I tried not to do it alone, thus inducing stress.
Will I stop trying to take girls out to movies? Not likely.
Do I regret asking her out? Nope.
So what does this mean in the grand scheme of things? Probably nothing.

But I do know one thing… I’m still single. And I’m going to shut up now.