Are you a wild and crazy, single-and-happy-about-it, free-spirit that’s finding it hard to cope with the incessant questioning by “supportive” family members? Do you dread holiday get-togethers because people “in love” don’t understand you? Have you taken drastic measures in the past to avoid these people?
If you answered yes to any of the above questions, then the “Singles Guide To Happy-Family-Holidays” is what you’ve been looking for!
What you’ll find in the “Singles Guide To Happy-Family-Holidays”:
Combat Comebacks: The art of expertly picking apart your annoying relatives!
Pre-emptive Strike Guidance: How to get to them before they get to you!
Lying to Grandma: How to sugar-coat the bullshit!
Pre-gather Punch: 12 delicious recipes sure to have you slurring before the first question!
Homo-elusion: Real, homosexual-tested, gay statements to once and for all stop the questioning!
Plus Much More!!!!
Only 8 easy payments of $19.95!!
Order now and receive, free of charge, the “Pocket-Prod”! The world’s only pocket-size cattle prod!
Actual Customer Testimonial — “They wouldn’t stop asking me questions! But one touch of the Pocket-Prod and, voila, no more questions! Thank you, Pocket-Prod!”
Actual Customer Testimonial — “My Pocket-Prod arrived in the mail today and I can’t believe how cute it is! And it fits so easily in my purse! I can’t wait for Grandma to ask me about grandchildren this Christmas!”
!!On-Line Special Only!!
Order on-line and get the Pocket-Pod “Crippler” attachment! Twice the power! Three times the fun!
Still single and anxiously awaiting delivery of my very own Pocket-Prod with Crippler attachment!
Scott
Filed under: Helpful Hints, The Bad, The Gay, The Good, The Man Perspective | Tagged: annoying, bullshit, cattle, crazy, delicious, drastic, dread, emptive, family, free-spirit, gay, get-togethers, grandma, happy, holidays, homo, homosexual, love, lying, measures, members, pocket, pocket-prod, pre-emptive, prod, question, questioning, relatives, single, supportive, testimonial, understand | 3 Comments »